Beware the Blue M&M
Beware the Blue M&M
Beware the Blue M&M: What the Federal Government doesn't want you to know about the Blue M&M. (as related to me by Dr. Zurfeld T. Cunningham)
Disclaimer: This monograph makes no claims or accusations for or against the Mars Candy Corporation and or the federal government. This information is simply to inform and communicate the seriousness of this situation.
On first examination one would not consider this particular confection a detriment to ones current situation or well being. Upon further examination and reflection it is obviously apparent or apparently obvious that this delicious treat does contain a harbinger of ill will and suspect use by entities as of yet still unidentified. This hopefully brief monograph will elucidate some further insight into this serious conflagration sweeping the nation.
The blue m&m first made its debut 1994 after an erroneous marketing campaign purported to let the world “pick” a new color. Sources close to the Mars organization have revealed that this decision was destine from the beginning. This color substitution marketing campaign was created to reactivate an insidious program that was de-railed due to the controversial great Red Scare of the 1980's -- when fears of the carcinogenic properties of Red dye No. 5 led to a several-years-long wholesale removal of red M&M's from the M&M nation. Make no mistake, the ferocity in which this program was conceived, was and is still determined to fulfill its ultimate diabolical outcome. To that end the establishment of a new “chosen” color allowed for the infiltration of this clandestine program back into the mainstream of American and world society.
The fundamental question still remains, why would this “black ops” organization pursue such a nefarious operation? What motivates these shadowy individuals into action? Could it be Roswell or Area 51? This information as related to me by the ignominious Dr. Zurfeld T. Cunningham reveals a shocking look at what lengths this unknown organization is willing to go to in order to achieve their objective.
Creation and Operations
Blue M&Ms have been genetically altered, some reports say that illegal cloning technology was used, in order to provide elctro-bio-organic emanations that can track and record the movements of any citizen who unwittingly consumes these confections. Extensive use of geosynchronous satellite surveillance apparati and ground based down-linked communications listening posts are manned twenty four hours a day seven days a week three hundred and sixty-five days a year. A staff of unknown size has at their disposal endless computing resources in which to fulfill their ultimate goal. Additional resources are brought in by means of black helicopters when suspected “hot spots” are requiring closer examination. This Herculean effort has been undertaken under the guise of ensuring the health and welfare of the general citizenry when in actuality this program is striking at the very heart of our civilization.
By making use of this unassuming morsel individuals who consume the Blue M&M are currently being tracked and monitored by this rogue outfit. Purportedly the ultimate conundrum pursued by this organization is to ascertain to exact location of Elvis.
Knowing that “the King” reportedly had an aversion to “blue food” (credit here given to George Carlan) this operation is based upon the process of elimination. Having the ability to account for the whereabouts of an entire population will allow the commanders of this program to exactly pinpoint the exact location of their quarry.
Dateline January twenty seventh in the year of our lord two thousand and nine.
It has been several years since my last update. While my intent was not to leave the general populace uniformed I was unavoidably diverted and ultimately forced “underground” as the as of yet unknown nefarious organization became increasingly aware of my information gathering activities. Translation: I had to take it on the lamb before I got busted.
My apologies to those of you who I know have been waiting for an update to my research that will invariable further solidify the undeniable conclusion that Blue M&Ms ARE being used to a less than honorable outcome.
First of all I would beg your pardon and your indulgences as I feel the need to provide
an adequate accounting of my activities during my long hiatus. Having secured a sufficient amount of scientific and technical data from the esteemed Dr. Zurfeld I felt sufficiently equipped to begin my own individual investigations into this abhorrent enterprise.
I started my investigations at a little know installation code name I.C.A.R.U.S.
(Informational Control And Radius Usurpation Systems) situated in the quite country side in upstate New York near the unknowing inhabitants of a town named Romulus. This installation is, I found out at great peril to my personal well being, used to tap into and make use of the World Wide Web also known as the Internet purportedly invented by Al Gore. This installation was formerly used to house ICBMs during the cold war and now has been re-tasked as a major informational eavesdropping, tracking and identification operations center. (see Seneca Army Depot) Additionally, this site was also used in the development of the genchem (chemically altered genetics) Blue M&M itself. Evidence of this activity is still observable today in the entity know as truly unnatural Odocoileus virginianus (aka White Deer) and the potential radiation concentrations detected by the EPA. This devious installation pursues its’ clandestine operations under the guise of leasing “DARK” Fiber to extend their invisible tentacle throughout the United Sates.